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How To Improve Communication Skills And Your Personal Style
Here are six tips for improving your communication style:
1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come easier once you become aware of your own communication style.
Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort of body language and what tone of voice are you using?
Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You’ve just taken an important first step in how to improve communication skills.
2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the style of those around you. How do the most important people in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for approaches you can model and make your own.
3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don’t think it is too late to change your way of conversing because it’s been years. You had to learn to communicate in the first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.
A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged daughter. She was growing and he thought she didn’t tell him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated discussion when he asked, ìWhy didn’t you tell me?î
Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his daughter would involve listening first before jumping right into solving the problem.
4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match the other person’s movements, posture and verbal style. Don’t do everything they do, but mirror one or two things. For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to questions, you follow suit.
Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.
5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as in a different environment. Make sure you change your style to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want to tell your best friend, in private.
Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to improve communication skills by altering your style for the appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far too much information in a group setting.
6. Don’t criticize others for communicating differently. If we all communicated in the same way, we’d soon be bored with each other.
Getting a good grasp of your communication style and finding ways to accommodate other peoples’ styles, is a good way to improve your communication skills.
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How to be a Public Speaking Star with The Use Of Computers
You can use computers to help you write your speech, as well as to help you research effectively, edit your work, check spelling and grammar and more. Computers can help you avoid wasting time; avoid never ending revising of your speech.
No, you will not be giving a speech using computers. A computer cannot speak for you on stage. No, that is not what this topic is about. I am saying computers can help you get in touch, while helping you search for information. You can use computers to help you write your speech, as well as to help you research effectively, edit your work, check spelling and grammar and more. Computers can help you avoid wasting time; avoid never ending revising of your speech.
A well-written speech should be typed on a computer. This looks more professional than handwriting. Furthermore, speeches often require research, support, correspondence and so forth. If you have a computer you can e-mail important messages much faster than taking the message to the post office. Furthermore, you can use the powerful Search Engine to find out any information you are searching for on the speech topic.
How much better can it get. The Internet has a variety of newsletters, articles, headlines, magazines, newspaper and more that can put you in connection faster with important facts needed to finish your speech. Imagine spending hours at the local library compared to spending a few minutes online. After all, it’s all about saving time and working sufficiently.
The Internet also has libraries all over the world with available information that will help you with the research process. Imagine delivering a ground-breaking speech to the public that is saturated with facts you can verify. The libraries often have helpful information and some libraries will literally find the information for you if it is not available in their library. As you can see you are not only saving time you are finding more information than you can deal with while writing your speech online.
While writing your speech you can also use spell checkers, grammar checkers and other tools to edit your speech. Furthermore, you are going to love this, you can actually use the Thesaurus to discover new words that might enhance your speech. The computers also give you the ability to research languages, i.e. if you want to point out something in Spanish in your speech, you will have the tools to do so even if you can’t speak Spanish.
Not only this, the time you spend writing your speech off the computer will stress you out. If you write, research and prepare your speech on a computer it will save you time, energy and money.
One important issue you want to keep in mind while writing a ground-breaking speech on a computer is that the Worldwide Web of Chaos has a bunch of suckers that will drag you into their arena. Stay out! Set your goal and plan ahead of the game and include in plan avoiding getting into computer based nonsense that will hinder you while writing your speech.
One thing you want to avoid also while writing your speech is stopping and revising the sentences as you write them. This will only hinder your progress. Instead, write the darn report and read it after you finish. If it makes sense and sounds good, use it, if it sounds disturbing…then you can edit the sentences.
As a writer one of the best tools I have is the ability to finish my articles, read them aloud, which helps me to spot out areas that needed brushing or polishing. In the world of editing you could nick and pick through every word and sometimes never find sense in the words, however, a good edit will read the words and define them carefully before considering abolishing the sentences. Thus, they look at structure, characters, grammar, spelling and more to decide whether it fits.
Conclusion
Overall the point is by using a computer; you can save time which in turn will reduce stress for you.
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History of Public Speaking
There never has been in the history of the world a time when the spoken word has been equaled in value and importance by any other means of communication. If one traces the development of mankind from what he considers its earliest stage he will find that the wandering family of savages depended entirely upon what its members said to one another. A little later when a group of families made a clan or tribe the individuals still heard the commands of the leader, or in tribal council voiced their own opinions. The beginnings of poetry show us the bard who recited to his audiences. Drama, in all primitive societies a valuable spreader of knowledge, entertainment, and religion, is entirely oral. In so late and well organized communities as the city republics of Greece all matters were discussed in open assemblies of the rather small populations.
Every great epoch of the world’s progress shows the supreme importance of speech upon human action individual and collective. In the Roman Forum were made speeches that affected the entire ancient world. Renaissance Italy, imperial Spain, unwieldy Russia, freedom loving England, revolutionary France, all experienced periods when the power of certain men to speak stirred other men into tempestuous action.
The history of the United States might almost be written as the continuous record of the influence of great speakers upon others. The colonists were led to concerted action by persuasive speeches. The Colonial Congresses and Constitutional Convention were dominated by powerful orators. The history of the slavery problem is mainly the story of famous speeches and debates. Most of the active representative Americans have been leaders because of their ability to impress their fellows by their power of expressing sentiments and enthusiasms which all would voice if they could. Presidents have been nominated and candidates elected because of this equipment.
During the Great War the millions of the world were as much concerned with what some of their leaders were saying as with what their other leaders were doing.
There is no aspect of modern life in which the spoken work is not supreme in importance. Representatives of the nations of the world deciding upon a peace treaty and deliberating upon a League of Nations sway and are swayed by speech. National assemblies from the strangely named new ones of infant nations to the century old organizations speak, and listen to speeches. In state legislatures, municipal councils, law courts, religious organizations, theaters, lodges, societies, boards of directors, stockholders’ meetings, business discussions, classrooms, dinner parties, social functions, friendly calls in every human relationship where two people meet there is communication by means of speech.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
How to be a Great Speaker Without Using PowerPoint
This article gives 10 tips on how presenters can be highly effective without using PowerPoint.
RESEARCH YOUR AUDIENCE It amazes me how some speakers will show up for a speaking engagement and really not know anything about the audience they are speaking to. Many speakers just get lazy and feel that their message is so important that anyone would want to hear it. They couldn’t be more wrong. Your core message may be about the same for everyone, but knowing your audience will allow you to slant the information so that the audience feels it was prepared just for them. They will relate much better to the information and think much more highly of you for creating something specifically for them. Of course, in many cases you were only slanting your information, but I won’t tell if you won’t.
PRACTICE The only way to look polished while speaking is to practice. This is one skill you cannot delegate to anyone else. It is you that is on stage with the microphone and it is you who will look either great or terrible. You are sadly mistaken and egotistical if you think the PowerPoint slides that either you or someone else created will make you a dynamic speaker. There are specific techniques used to practice that don’t take much time and make you look extremely polished. One of these techniques is called bits. You practice a short piece of material over and over again. You don’t practice it word for word, but just talk your way through it. This way you won’t blank out when a distraction happens while you are on stage.
TAKE CARE OF HECKLERS The following is my famous asterisk technique; I use it to make sure hecklers don’t interrupt my presentation. I get people in the group to identify potential troublemakers BEFORE I get to the event. I phone these people and interview them to give them the attention they are craving. I then mention their names during the speech. This virtually eliminates the chance they will give me a hard time because I am praising one of their opinions. This works really well but don’t mention their names exclusively or the rest of the audience that knows these people are trouble may think that you are just as bad. Mention a wide variety of people in the audience. Just make sure the bad ones are included which normally keeps them at bay.
USE EMOTIONAL LANGUAGE Boring old facts rarely move people to action. Learning to use words that evoke emotions in people will make a much greater impact when you speak. There are many emotions you can trigger in the audience just by your choice of words. Happiness, anger, sadness, nostalgia are just a few. Knowing your purpose for being in front of the group helps you to pick which emotions you want to tap. When your purpose is known, choosing words to get the desired emotional response is much easier. For instance, if you wanted to take someone back to a childhood experience you might say, “Do you remember when someone did something bad at school and the teacher smacked the yardstick on her desk?” The word Phrase “smacked the yardstick” would evoke an emotional response that many adults can relate to. A younger group may not relate to this phrase since corporal punishment has all but disappeared from schools. You must pick the words that would mean something to your audience.
REVEAL YOURSELF Often people have trouble implementing this idea because they like to remain aloof and private. This will hurt their chances of making a good connection with people in the audience. You certainly don’t have to reveal your deepest darkest secrets when on stage, but you certainly could tell someone how much you like horses, or how you love to cook . . .anything that will give them a glimpse into the real you will give you a better chance of connecting with them and getting them to listen to you.
USE PROPS A prop is worth a thousand words. People can really anchor a thought in their minds when it is connected to an object that relates to the point you are trying to make. You could use large, small, funny or serious props. Always relate the prop to the point you are trying to make and make sure the audience can see it. Sometimes you’ll want to hide the prop so people don’t wonder what it is until you are ready to present it.
USE HUMOR Even Shakespeare used humor in the middle of the tragedies he wrote. Humor is a powerful and effective tool that gives the audience’s mind a chance to breath in the face of heavy material. It also makes you more likable and fun to listen to. Humor is also much more likely to make your information more memorable. You don’t have to be a stand up comedian to use humor in speeches and presentations, and you don’t have to tell jokes either. There are many ways to add humor that don’t require any skill at all. You can show funny visuals, tell stories, or read from books or periodicals. Just like with props, make sue your humor relates to the point you are trying to make and you will be much more successful. Each issue of “Great Speaking” has about 20 pieces of humor you can use during speeches.
MOVE ‘EM TO ACTION If you are going to bother taking up people’s time to speak to them, don’t you think it would be a good idea to get them to do something positive because of your presentation? Even if they do something negative, it’s still better than doing nothing because they will at least get a chance to learn something from their mistake. Regardless of the size of your ego, the reality is that you are there for them, not the other way around. I’m all for you building up your reputation, but if you go into your speech thinking it’s all for you, it will show and you probably won’t do as well as you would have had you concentrated on the needs of the audience more.
BRING SOLUTIONS One of the best ways to make sure the audience loves you is to bring solutions to their problems. If you have done a thorough job of researching your audience, you already know what their problems are. It’s your job to bring ideas for them to try. In modern day thinking this is what motivational speaking is all about. No longer is it good enough to get people all fired up where they are bouncing off the walls without a clue as to what they will do with this new found excitement and motivation. Modern professional motivational speakers bring solutions and a plan of action to achieve them. Now those are motivating.
PAY ATTENTION TO LOGISTICS The best preparation, practice, and audience research could be ruined if you forget to pay attention to all the details surrounding a presentation. You want to know what is happening before you speak, and what is happening after you speak: How are the people seated? Are they at round tables where half of them are facing away from you, or are there no tables at all? What kind of microphone is appropriate? How big is the screen in the room? Will the people be drinking alcohol? What is the lighting like? All these items and many more affect the overall effectiveness of a presentation. The same exact words delivered with significantly different logistics could be received in entirely different ways. You could even go from a fantastic evaluation to a bomb just because of the way people are seated. It’s up to you to know the differences and how they affect a presentation.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
History of Public Speaking
There never has been in the history of the world a time when the spoken word has been equaled in value and importance by any other means of communication. If one traces the development of mankind from what he considers its earliest stage he will find that the wandering family of savages depended entirely upon what its members said to one another. A little later when a group of families made a clan or tribe the individuals still heard the commands of the leader, or in tribal council voiced their own opinions. The beginnings of poetry show us the bard who recited to his audiences. Drama, in all primitive societies a valuable spreader of knowledge, entertainment, and religion, is entirely oral. In so late and well organized communities as the city republics of Greece all matters were discussed in open assemblies of the rather small populations.
Every great epoch of the world’s progress shows the supreme importance of speech upon human action individual and collective. In the Roman Forum were made speeches that affected the entire ancient world. Renaissance Italy, imperial Spain, unwieldy Russia, freedom loving England, revolutionary France, all experienced periods when the power of certain men to speak stirred other men into tempestuous action.
The history of the United States might almost be written as the continuous record of the influence of great speakers upon others. The colonists were led to concerted action by persuasive speeches. The Colonial Congresses and Constitutional Convention were dominated by powerful orators. The history of the slavery problem is mainly the story of famous speeches and debates. Most of the active representative Americans have been leaders because of their ability to impress their fellows by their power of expressing sentiments and enthusiasms which all would voice if they could. Presidents have been nominated and candidates elected because of this equipment.
During the Great War the millions of the world were as much concerned with what some of their leaders were saying as with what their other leaders were doing.
There is no aspect of modern life in which the spoken work is not supreme in importance. Representatives of the nations of the world deciding upon a peace treaty and deliberating upon a League of Nations sway and are swayed by speech. National assemblies from the strangely named new ones of infant nations to the century old organizations speak, and listen to speeches. In state legislatures, municipal councils, law courts, religious organizations, theaters, lodges, societies, boards of directors, stockholders’ meetings, business discussions, classrooms, dinner parties, social functions, friendly calls in every human relationship where two people meet there is communication by means of speech.
Please fill in the The Complete Speaking Business Assessment for free assessment
More info’s and free registrations (restricted to pros), please join our live seminar
Four Different Ways People Process Your Information
How do others process your information during presentations? There are four different physiological pathways that they use.
Four Different Ways People Process Your Information
There are four different ways that audience members assimilate information. They are: visual, auditory, auditory digital, and kinesthetic. While all members of the audience will process information utilizing all four of these approaches at different times, each audience member will individually tend to rely on one of these approaches more than the other three.
Visual: These people memorize and learn by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise than others. They often have difficulty remembering and are bored by long, verbal presentations because their minds will wander. They are interested in how your presentation looks. They like it when you use words like ìsee, look, envision, imagine, and picture’ in your presentation as these words encourage them to make pictures in their minds.
Auditory: These people are easily distracted by any noises occurring during your presentation. Typically these audience members learn by listening, Your vocal tone and vocal quality will be very important with these people. Words that work well with people in this category include ìhear, listen, sound, resonate, and harmonize.’
Auditory Digital: These audience members spend a fair amount of time in their heads talking to themselves. They memorize and learn by steps, procedures, and sequences.
They want to know that your presentation makes sense. Words that are effective with these people include ìsense, experience, understand, think, motivate, and decide.’
Kinesthetic: These audience embers often speak very slowly. They are much more oriented towards their feelings than people in the other three categories. They learn by actively doing something and getting the actual feeling of it. They are interested in a presentation that ìfeels right’ or gives them a ìgut feeling.’ Words that are effective with these audience members include ìfeel, touch, grasp, concrete, get hold of, and solid.’
Approximately 40% of the population are primarily visual, approximately 40% are primarily kinesthetic, and the remaining 20% are primarily auditory and auditory digital in how they process information.
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Eulogy Speeches: Use A Story To Help You Get Started
So you “have” to do a eulogy speech… or maybe you “want” to get a chance to express in public all the deep feelings you have for your loved one who has passed away.
Yes, I know it’s a tough time to write a eulogy speech or anything else for that matter. Yes, I know you’re probably distraught and having a hard time focusing. That’s OK. I’m going to give you an easy tip to get going. Where do you start?
One of the best elements to include in a eulogy is a story about you and an interaction you had with the deceased. Your eulogy story could be funny or heart-wrenching. In fact, a mixture of both in the same story is great, or you could do one of each. There is no law that states you can only tell one story.
Your eulogy could start with a story about how you met your loved one, or maybe you could talk about your earliest remembrance of them when you were a child. You could talk about a really great life lesson you learned from them and how it has helped you in your life.
Another great thing about using eulogy speech stories is that you don’t have to read or memorize your words because you lived the experience.
All you have to do is make a brief bullet point in your notes that would say something like, “Tell farm story”, or whatever will briefly remind you of the story you want to tell.
There are many other points you need to know about writing a eulogy speech, but using a story to help you get started will take away some of the pressure in creating a great tribute to your loved one.
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Fluent Speech And How To Achieve It
This article is all about how to achieve fluency and looks at the specific speech impediment known as stammering/stuttering. My name is Steve Hill, I suffered with a stutter from the age of four and despite regular conventional speech therapy, continued stuttering until the age of twenty-two.
I found life with a stutter extremely frustrating as at times I could speak very well. For example when I spoke to what is now my ex-girlfriend I very rarely had a problem, however when attempting to speak to her parents I struggled quite badly.
When I was drunk my fluency level also would improve to a level where I would be shocked if I stuttered at all.
I could not understand why I could talk to one person but not to another and why I could speak when I was drunk but not when I was sober.
I read many books about speech imediments, achieving fluency and stuttering and spoke to many speech therapists. From what I read and from what I was told, I was made to believe that I was unable to live a stuttering-free life as it suggested you are unable to eradicate a stutter.
This is a very negative attitude, however I could not really believe what I was hearing and reading as I knew I could talk very well at times.
I then was fortunate enough to watch Bruce Willis being interviewed on the television. He stated that he had had a stutter which had started when he was a young boy, however he had managed to achieve fluency when he was a late teenager. This was a huge inspiration to me and I then decided that I would attempt to overcome my own speech impediment.
After nearly a year of working very hard by reading books about positive thinking and mind over matter and by basically studying people who I thought were great speakers, I also managed to beat the stutter. As a career I now help other people to achieve fluency.
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Conquer Speaking Fear – 5 Tips
Speaking to a group can be scary, if you miss these five tips. Here’s what to do. Reduce your fear of speaking by taking the following steps.
1) Conduct Research.
Visit or call key participants to ask them what they expect from your presentation. That is, what do they want to learn from it? What do they already know about this topic? How will your presentation help them? Such conversations enlist these people as your allies during your presentation. It also helps you learn what people expect, so that you can deliver it. This is like collecting the answers to an exam before taking it.
2) Prepare.
Write an outline, and if possible write a script for key parts of it (such as the opening and close). Then practice giving your presentation, without reading the script until you know it so well that you can deliver it conversationally. Avoid trying to memorize a script. That makes things too complicated and difficult. Practice your speech anywhere and at any time. For example, you can talk through parts of it while jogging, working on chores, or taking a shower.
3) Rehearse.
Practice your talk in the meeting room with a group of friends, coworkers, and (if possible) your boss. Ask for their comments on how to improve your talk. Also, use this as an opportunity to become familiar with the room and any equipment, such as a projector.
4) Be the Host
Arrive early so that you can meet and greet the attendees before your presentation. Shake their hands and thank them for coming. Introduce yourself to them and engage them in small talk. (e.g., “How are you?”) Act as if they were guests coming to your party. This converts them from strangers into friends.
5) Expect Success
Fantasize doing a wonderful job. If you let nightmares run through your mind, you will scare yourself. Give yourself confidence by expecting to do well. Know that everyone wants you to do an excellent job.
Bonus Point
The key to success is being prepared. It helps you do a better job and fills you with confidence.
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Confidence Building Secrets Of True Winners
We all need some confidence building from time to time. Part of feeling confident has a lot to do with how we feel about ourselves. Feeling like we can accomplish things we set out to do is important to feeling confident.
Remember that we all have talents and gifts. Whether we feel confident in these skills is very much part of thinking like a winner. Here is an easy way you can train yourself to think like a winner.
Make yourself a ëto do’ list. Before you start complaining that you’ve tried that already in the past and it didn’t work, let’s go over the rules for this list. This is a list to make you feel like a winner.
It is your job to help yourself to feel as much like a winner as possible by making a list that is fun and easy to get done. I mean super easy. Ridiculously easy, even.
Here’s a sample list:
1. Get out of bed.
2. Brush my teeth and comb my hair.
3. Get dressed.
4. Eat something.
5. Eat something else.
6. Walk to a car, bus or another room.
7. Smile.
8. Answer the phone. But only if it rings.
9. Put socks on…
Are you getting the idea? This isn’t your average ëto do’ list. This is a sort of self-conditioning list. Seeing all those check marks or seeing everything crossed off your list will make you feel like you’ve had a productive day. You’ll gain confidence in your abilities to get things done.
If you practice this fun list making, you’ll come to think of yourself as a winner. If you forget to write the list one morning, write a ëdone’ list at the end of the day. Just list ëgot out of bed’, etc. and mark them off.
As silly as this confidence building list making may seem, bear in mind that the subconscious doesn’t care about what is real or imagined. All it will see is a list that has been checked off every day. Eventually, you’ll notice yourself feeling more confident. You can then start adding real tasks to your list and doing them with the same ëfeel good’ attitude you had when you made your practice lists.
Don’t add too many, to start. Camouflage the real items you want to accomplish with your stand-by easy ones. The reason you don’t want to do a complete shift in list writing is that feeling good is an important element of confidence building.
Just look at someone you know to be confident. Are they down in the mouth or smiling? Allow yourself the joy of having fun with life. You’ll feel like a winner!
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